Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
