I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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