I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
