Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I think I am morally bankrupt
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
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