Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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