i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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