Texts From Last Night

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  (515): View more from Iowa

  does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine

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  (515): does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine http://tfl.nu/uuy6
  Replies (2) Good night (1231) Bad night (617)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine

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  (913): took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine http://tfl.nu/51sq
  Replies (22) Good night (5461) Bad night (743)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.

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  (440): i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends. http://tfl.nu/xfyh
  Replies (12) Good night (891) Bad night (4118)
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  (337): View more from Louisiana

  Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.

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  (337): Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again. http://tfl.nu/uobp
  Replies (17) Good night (3805) Bad night (944)
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  (914): View more from New York

  Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.

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  (914): Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore. http://tfl.nu/9xwr
  Replies (44) Good night (4102) Bad night (1294)
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  (516): View more from New York

  He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue

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  (516): He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue http://tfl.nu/ydk6
  Replies (6) Good night (5666) Bad night (930)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy

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  (937): She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy http://tfl.nu/3zlc
  Replies (9) Good night (1209) Bad night (3041)
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  (270): View more from Kentucky

  My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.

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  (270): My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there. http://tfl.nu/pghu
  Replies (0) Good night (1392) Bad night (591)
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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.

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  (504): So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius. http://tfl.nu/mef6
  Replies (3) Good night (689) Bad night (380)
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.

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  (267): In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY. http://tfl.nu/1mja
  Replies (2) Good night (592) Bad night (357)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.

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  (801): Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later. http://tfl.nu/hc8l
  Replies (10) Good night (529) Bad night (698)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.

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  (954): She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills. http://tfl.nu/ph08
  Replies (5) Good night (868) Bad night (444)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF

  (1-919): View more from North Carolina

  We're showing the video later bring pizza

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  (919): i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF (1-919): We're showing the video later bring pizza http://tfl.nu/1zdw
  Replies (2) Good night (820) Bad night (266)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer

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  (+61): I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer http://tfl.nu/6owa
  Replies (3) Good night (906) Bad night (257)
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  (469): View more from Texas

  Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?

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  (469): Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush? http://tfl.nu/eg9u
  Replies (2) Good night (494) Bad night (230)

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