Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(516): View more from New York

She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.

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(516): She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food. http://tfl.nu/a6vh

Replies (14) Good night (3549) Bad night (865)
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(860): View more from Connecticut

i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.

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(860): i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug. http://tfl.nu/sjuy

Replies (25) Good night (3521) Bad night (759)
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(256): View more from Alabama

I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up

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(256): I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up http://tfl.nu/q8f6

Replies (50) Good night (10629) Bad night (1899)
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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.

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(717): Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life. http://tfl.nu/od19

Replies (12) Good night (2290) Bad night (2973)
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(847): View more from Illinois

i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless

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(847): i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless http://tfl.nu/ycxo

Replies (8) Good night (1132) Bad night (3572)
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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.

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(267): I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible. http://tfl.nu/ayl9

Replies (9) Good night (2043) Bad night (920)
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(917): View more from New York City

sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.

(917): View more from New York City

that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.

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(917): sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride. (917): that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks. http://tfl.nu/bp4f

Replies (3) Good night (1690) Bad night (634)
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(619): View more from California

No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.

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(619): No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch. http://tfl.nu/4axa

Replies (6) Good night (3334) Bad night (743)
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(740): View more from Ohio

I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.

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(740): I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state. http://tfl.nu/rhx6

Replies (6) Good night (1601) Bad night (586)
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(416): View more from Toronto

She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"

(1-416): View more from Toronto

You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?

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(416): She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?" (1-416): You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right? http://tfl.nu/2p2l

Replies (17) Good night (2826) Bad night (665)
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.

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(610): spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN. http://tfl.nu/4bnj

Replies (12) Good night (1166) Bad night (456)
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(925): View more from California

Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.

(1-925): View more from California

How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?

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(925): Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night. (1-925): How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure? http://tfl.nu/pvre

Replies (13) Good night (1448) Bad night (414)
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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.

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(267): I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs. http://tfl.nu/gl01

Replies (1) Good night (384) Bad night (587)
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(330): View more from Ohio

You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.

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(330): You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic. http://tfl.nu/9e5o

Replies (2) Good night (565) Bad night (408)
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(408): View more from California

I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.

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(408): I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was. http://tfl.nu/1g06

Replies (0) Good night (911) Bad night (373)

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