If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
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