There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
