my vag is so smooth its legendary
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
