But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Randomize
