Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
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