Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Randomize
