Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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