he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
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