I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
