I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I would ride that face into the sunset
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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