sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
