ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
