I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
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