They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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