When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
