My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
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