He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
