i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize
