I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
