you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
