I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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