If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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