you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
im holly from the hills drunk
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
