he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
