Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
50% drunk capacity currently
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Randomize
