Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
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He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
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Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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