I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize