I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
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