Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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