Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
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