Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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