she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Randomize
