pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Someone signed my nipple.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
