the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
