I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Randomize
