i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize