I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
