i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize