Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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