i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
