Someone shit on the floor
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Randomize
