Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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