so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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