it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize