i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
