It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
