Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
