To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I just cut my nipple shaving
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
