Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
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