All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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