At least make sure they are 18
Why
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
