so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
