stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
