Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?