Your tits are I can't wait for
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles