At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
25 People Confess What They Really Think When They See An Obese Person
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on