areolas are like halos for boobs.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
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He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
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so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.