Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
